Mother Bitch

Is motherhood the same for everyone? Is it extremely rewarding one minute and excruciatingly boring the next? How long is it only about sterilising bottles and making 'kanji' and mixing paal powder? HOW LONG? DOES IT EVER END?

And what is it with babies and the need to SCREAM just when I close my eyes for a minute ...A MINUTE?????

Am I ungrateful to god for having given me this 'bundle of joy'?

Every time I think this way I tell myself 'Of course I love him'. But why do I always say 'Of course' - am I trying to assuage my guilt? Why am I feeling guilty? After all I am changing nappies right on cue, producing the feeding bottles when the crying starts, playing and making funny faces I'm embarassed to admit to making....so why do I feel guilty? Am I not doing enough? Can Superwoman do more?

Will someone help me before I throw myself over the Mommy Suicide Point?