Loser

Vendor of Sweets. Bachelor of Arts. Loser of Cellphones. R.K.Narayan could've made money with my sob story.

Six mobile phones. Six of them I have lost ever since I got my first one. Its a disease. Or its a cosmic conspiracy.

Technically I haven't 'lost' all of them in the true sense of the word. Two were stolen, two were dropped then stolen, one was strapped to my waist and I walked into a wall and the antenna (?)broke (it can happen), one fell into a very large water drum when it fell from the pocket of a friend who leaned in to fetch water (don't ask).

Why does this happen to me? I know there's something behind it. It's like its been written against my name "Death by Cellphone". And that's why my guardian angel is out there trying to protect me from imminent death. That has to be it. Maybe I'm doomed to die by electrocution - from using the cell while its charging. Or maybe I'll get mugged and in the struggle for my precious cell phone, I'll die an untimely death. ("So young, poor thing. It was the cell phone that did her in"). Or maybe I'll plummet to my death trying to catch it as it slips from my hand at Suicide Point.

This curse or disease or whatever the hell it is - its getting to me. My seventh cell phone - I'm ashamed to say I put it into the washing machine. And not because I was getting dirty calls. (Sorry couldn't resist that one). So now it gets switched off every 15 seconds. I get to say all of "Hey, how you doing. My cell may get swi...." and silence.

I need a doctor. It's got to be curable right?

Now my husband has lost his cell phone. The disease is spreading to my loved ones. Everyone out there who knows me, reads my blog, has seen me on the street, has heard mention of my name from a friend's friend, who shares my name - beware. The disease may afflict you too. Hold on to your cell phones tightly.